What is happening to our children? - The 'Epidemic of Entitlement' Part Two The Parent Factor

Are parents to blame for this 'Epidemic of Entitlement'? The media - particularly 'Current Affair' type programs who in their bid to chase ratings, have a field day trashing parents from low socio economic backgrounds. They argue that these parents simply don't know how to parent anymore. They argue that these children are running wild in our streets and are a menace to society.

As a teacher who has taught in both low socio economic schools and private schools for the 'priveliged', let me tell you, this issue crosses all class barriers. Many parents from all sections of the community are struggling to parent. If I had a dollar for everytime a parent has expressed frustration and asked me for advice on what to do with their child? Well lets just say I would have paid the mortgage off by now! Parents are struggling, but its not always because they are selfish and don't care. Parents are just plain exhausted. They're working long hours, some juggling two jobs just to pay their electricity bill. They want to be there for their children but sometimes its just not possible.

Of course there are bad parents out there and everyday as a teacher I get to see the 'living' consequences of bad parenting. But here's a news flash, bad parents come from all classes, not just the underclass as the media would have us believe. Let me offer you some examples of the bad parenting I get to see. Generally speaking they fall into the following categories:

The Type 'A' Parent

So many parents don't want to play the 'bad-cop' they want to be friends with their kids and they want their kids to like them. These parents are so afraid of setting boundaries or saying 'no' that they have literally created little monsters.

These kids usually lack the most basic of socialization skills. They have no respect for other people, particularly authority figures and in my experience they have little respect for their own parents. These kids are usually the type of student who walks into the class late, the student who uses their phone in class and the student who constantly disrupts the class. When a teacher challenges this type of kid over their behaviour, their typical response is to verbally abuse the teacher - read - "you ffffing b...ch" and threaten all sorts of dire consequences. A typical response goes something like this, "you can't make me leave the class, I know my rights and my parents will come up to the school and tell you where to go". And usually their parents do!

Next comes the parents who believe their kids are perfect. These parents often closely resemble, and or share similar traits with parent Type 'A'.

Parent Type 'B'

I call these parents the 'deluded and in denial' parents. You know the type...they believe they have given birth to another Albert Einstein. They have fostered and tended this belief so well over the years, that there is no way they will ever allow reality to come between them and their brilliant masterpiece. And apologies to all my female readers out there in advance, I'm sorry to say, it's usually the 'mama bear female parent' who is the worst offender. These are usually 'stay at home mums' who live vicariously through their 'brilliant' offspring. The children they produce in my experience tend to be the most dangerous and the most 'manipulative'.

These kids are usually very lazy. They lack drive and motivation. They never hand their work in on time and when they do' it's either not worth marking, or it's been completely lifted off the 'Net' word for word - read plagiarized! These children have perfected the art of lying and come up with every excuse under the sun. One very disturbing new trend is the 'anxiety angle'. It usually goes something like this, "I plagiarized my essay Mrs... because I'm suffering stress and anxiety due to all the work I have at the moment blah blah blah". These kids are trotted off to a psychologist and duly diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

When Type 'B' parents receive their child's report they turn up on parent teacher night rearing for a fight. And this is how it goes, "Mrs.... did you know my Kylie/Jason participated in the gifted and talented program in their last school and was getting straight 'A's (this is where the delusional part comes in) and they must be failing their course because your such a bad teacher" And just in case that doesn't work.... "are you aware my Kylie/Jason is on medication for anxiety? These students invariably fail their courses because both kid and parent participate in the denial game. The parents because they need to believe their kid is perfect and the kids because they know Mum and Dad will enable them to 'renege on life'.

So is bad parenting partially responsible for this 'Epidemic of Entitlement'? In a word 'Yes'!

Are there other reasons? In a word 'Yes'. For more on this question watch out for my next blog - The 'Epidemic of Entitlement' - The Cult Of Greed.

In the meantime tell me what you think? I welcome your comments.